Tuesday, 1 April 2008

Decisions

Over the past few days and weeks I have been thinking a lot about life etc and the prospect of living in a whole new country next year has made me think hard about some aspects of my life. I have kept quiet for too long but I can not remain silent any longer. I would like to announce the following about myself:

1. My political leanings have changed, I feel that the only party to truly reflect my views is UKIP, as a Euro sceptic I feel that I will be most at home there. The Tories have some lovely lovely looking guys but I'm sorry Robert Kilroy-Silk and that Nick Farge are just too hot to resist.

2. I have learnt the error of my ways after two years of being a student; alcohol only leads to sadness and pain, as of today I am totally tee-total, that's right no more Gordon's, Pimms or Port. It's tap water, J2O and coke from here on in.

3. Despite appearances I am a man hating feminist, all those times that I have spent in the pub flirting with you guys was all a farce, an ironic farce. In short I hate you! You're sole purpose in society is for us woman to having babies. If I had my way you would simply be chained up in our basements and only visited when we women wanted kiddies.

Some of this may come as quite a shock but I am sorry it's just how I feel.

4 comments:

Colin Moore said...

Small problem with all of this dear - Kilroy's gone. He's not even in his own party any more!

Laura-Rose said...

Yes but he was in it! It like the Maggie Principle, People will still join the Tories because of Maggie even though she is no longer an MP.

Paul said...

I knew it....

Linguanaut.co.uk said...

This is one of the better April Fool's.